“I feel a deep disconnect with people I thought I knew and shared these same values.” This has been my biggest sorrow these past couple of months. And on Jan 20th any peace I had crafted since the election seemed to vanish. Thankful for this Treehouse community you have built.
Thank you for this Rachel. I am feeling the same way. Things feel so incredibly off course. I have been thinking about what is in my control and what is not. Like you, kindness, inclusion, integrity and honesty are very important to me. Glad you have this place to process through it all.
And yes, we need to continue to be the light. This week, I pulled out your book Only Love Today. I was so thankful to be on the Lauch Team for that. My goal is to get back to that because that is very much in my control—the love, and the goodness and the light that I bring forth into the world. Rachel, the light you bring forth is so incredibly needed. It was 11 years ago that I read your first book Hands Free Mama and that book, along with your other books and Soul Shift courses, have been so incredibly impactful. ❤️🙏 The impact we can make matters.
I feel that heaviness with you. My spiritual director tells me often that whatever breaks our hearts is what breaks the heart of God. I believe that. I believe that somehow, not merely as a form of survival but as an act of generosity, we are each invited to rise up and be light-bearers and light-bringers in this dismal society.
It's strange, but I've created a sort of insular hermitage in my office, to which I retreat on a daily basis. I spend anywhere from an hour to five hours in this small segment of a fairly large house, because it has become my sanctuary. It is where I intentionally walk away from the fray, from all the hubbub and derision going on in conversations--on the news, among neighbors, within families. I cannot bear any more of this, so I have made a conscious decision to stay off of social media, not scan the news, turn off the headlines on my computer or TV.
Instead, I spend time thinking, reflecting, meditating. Prayer has changed for me these last several years into something that is a way of being rather than a formal incantation to a deity. I still feel the presence of the divine, but I admit I am small and scared most days. I do not know what we are doing as a people, and I do not know whether I will make any sort of impressionable mark upon the world as it is.
What I do know is that I must be something more than hopeless, though I permit myself to feel that from time to time--when I need to, for a stint and within a limit so that I do not fall prey to irreparable despair.
The pain cave reminds me of what we might call fortitude, which is more of an interior disposition that involves a lot of grit, patience, perseverance, and passion. You have to utilize this part of yourself that says you are resolved to continue moving forward when it makes sense to do that, when you know it is better to have faith than give in to your fear. I am not speaking of a dogged productivity that overshadows a person's natural wisdom to listen to the voice that says it's time to back off, slow down, or rest. I am speaking of that inner knowing that it's a moment in which we must confront our shadows.
To me, courage doesn't exist until I face what I fear most.
I wanted to conclude with an image that came to me last night as I fell asleep. It was of a mature deciduous tree in full bloom, with lush, green foliage that filled its crown. A cloud of dark smoke rose from the earth and began to envelop the tree, obstructing it from view. I remember saying in my mind, "No, no this can't happen!" And instantly the cloud vanished.
The tree reappeared, and when the black cloud ascended higher and higher, encircling the tree, this time the tree became illuminated in a bright incandescence that overshadowed the cloud's power.
I took this metaphor to mean that, despite the dark shadows that seek to destroy the human spirit, we will not be vanquished by it. Love is the light whose power far surpasses the darkness, and that is what I know lives in you and lives in me and lives in each of us, if only we believe that about ourselves and allow ourselves to love and be loved.
Maybe part of the purpose of being a writer, or a creative person at this point in history, Rachel, is for you and I to speak into these dark places with the soft glow of tenderness and compassion that I know touches people in their pain, soothes them, comforts and consoles.
As always, I read your brilliance several times, finding illuminating nuggets to collect and pocket. I will roll them around in my fingers over the next days, weeks, months... and they will comfort me.
When I got to the last paragraph, I must admit that I cried. To be called to "speak into dark places with the soft glow of tenderness and compassion that I know touches people in their pain..." is what I truly believe my purpose is... and to know you see me in this way, as a fellow soothing voice that is often in unison with yours... well, that is truly all I needed to know today.
“Natalie was the light bringer – not because she didn’t experience the pain too – but because she had gotten to the other side before and wanted to make sure other people knew they could too.”
This is the perfect word-picture for how I want to live my life and shine my light. To walk through it, experience freedom, and then help others in their own journey toward it, simply by being light of that freedom. What a beautiful way to give others permission!! 💞
I hope this birthday is filled with people and things you love!! So grateful for you and this space. 🥳
Thank you for highlighting that paragraph, RaeAnne, and for declaring your vital purpose in the world. Knowing you are out there doing that comforts me and inspires me.
Happy birthday, dear Rachel! Thanks for the idea of decorating your porch, I will do that too. I feel the same way you do. As you say, we need to love and support those around us. And never let your light go out!!
I feel the same heaviness that you describe. It's no exaggeration to say I've been walking through the stages of grief since the election--and they are ramping up again. I swing wildly from disbelief to anger to bitter tears, and constantly wonder how we can continue to bear this. Every day brings fresh horrors (also not an exaggeration) and more people I don't know how to continue a relationship with.
Natalie learned to be a light-bringer from you! This is truth.
I too, hope I am a light-bringer. We will need all the light and love we can get in the next few years. Thank you for sharing yours with us.
Thank you for bringing your light to this space today, dear Erin. I feel your weariness, but know I also feel your warmth. I am near. My hand in yours.
I can’t tell you how much this piece has meant to me. You put into words what I have been feeling. The election and having my kidney removed (all within a week) had almost killed my spirit. I’ve never had the privilege of competing in races. Born with a congenital hip dislocation, I’ve weathered several hip surgeries and now at 71, it seems my body is starting to give up. Just like it seems America is dying. Pain cave!! I love this term and plan on using it. I became a social worker and poured all my energy into my clients and attempted to be both their cheerleader and motivator. When I retired I continued to encourage others to be their best selves. But then our political system began to crack and break in so many ways that at times I just wanted to leave this ole world. Your piece has strengthened my resolve to keep living and loving. We can bring about peace and excitement again! So let’s all get out of our pain caves and push ourselves to be the light during these dark times!
When I got to the part about the breaking causing you to want to "leave this ole world," I started to cry. I am a deep feeler too and at times it feels like too much pain to bear. I kept reading your words and then you said, "Your piece has strengthened my resolve to keep living and loving." I cried again... but this time, from a place of strength and hope. Just like I wrote in my essay, I believe we can stoke each other's inner lights... and perhaps what we create TOGETHER will be so illuminating we will be so glad we stayed. Thank you, Shirley, for your words that have given me life and purpose today.
Thank you so much, Rachel. This speaks to my heart and exactly how I am feeling right now. It’s so nice to know I am not alone. I should be able to make the 2/2 treehouse gathering! Very much appreciate you and am looking forward to it.
Happy birthday! I am feeling a need to do something to resist and help but as is typical of me, have felt overwhelmed by choices, which always leads to being stuck. Your porch immediately inspired me as one thing I can do and enjoy doing. Also, I love your idea of “stoking the light”. What a great visual!
I love to hear this, Jacqueline! I'd sure love to hear how your porch turns out!! Thank you for commenting. It feels so good to have your hand in mine.
ooohhh!!! Happy early birthday, dear Rachel!!! To be alive at the same time as you is something I consider to be an incredible gift. I love how our deep feeling, writing loving hearts are so aligned.
Thank you for words that feel like the kind of birthday gift that means the most. I treasure affirmations more than anything else. Thank you for this... and I can't wait to be with you on 2/2.
“Love is who I am and love is what I stand for, and I will not stop.”
Standing beside you Soul Sister, barely breathing this week as I feel so much upending, internally as well as externally.
Sigh…
I have a pretty hula hoop I am standing in each morning as a new ritual. This is my circle of effect. My inquiry each morning is now “ how do I love my people in my hoop hugely❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️?” How do I let them know I care, o am here, lighting a candle for them , praying for them. Dropping off a note, a hug so no one in my hoola hoop is walking this windy path alone.
I believe that what I am doing in my hoop of Big Love i am creating a resistance of sorts. I am loving, living my life with joy, believe together we will walk each other through the chaos and come out on the other side, somehow. I am a hope holder in my hoola hoop helping fight against fear and finding there a many to shore, up, minister to in my hoola hoop. This is where my time and attention are being given.
I love you putting up your decorations. The heart is everything love ❤️ I remember during pandemic when people put hearts in their windows in my neighborhood, when I went for my daily walk then those hearts in the windows were my way to hope. There is one still taped inside a garage I pass most days and it emboldens me that love is our way through however that may look for each of us.
This space is balm and medicine Rachel, thanks for gathering us and helping us re-remember that we start from the heart.
The hula hoop metaphor is so powerful!! I’m going to borrow that. It feels doable when the pain is overwhelming. I love how you describe it as a resistance!
I forgot about the hearts in the windows during the pandemic. I might do that too. We can’t have too much love and symbols of them.
Grateful for you and your love. It reaches me constantly.
I resonate with what you wrote to my very core! I thought I had mentally and emotionally prepared for this week, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. It feels like the school bully (instead of facing consequences) has been elected homecoming king, student body president and student of the month all at once. I feel deeply sad, disgusted and angry. Yet I know that what this country needs more than ever is love...so I am going to keep showing up in love, while also showing up in my integrity.
Yes! We ARE the light! And we are not just shining our light for others, we are shining it for ourselves too!🩷✨I will keep holding Light and Love in this current darkness for all who want to see! Thank you for holding yours! Together, we will get through it!
“I feel a deep disconnect with people I thought I knew and shared these same values.” This has been my biggest sorrow these past couple of months. And on Jan 20th any peace I had crafted since the election seemed to vanish. Thankful for this Treehouse community you have built.
I am grateful for your comforting presence, dear Katie.
I am with you.
All of this. Perfectly said.
Thank you for this Rachel. I am feeling the same way. Things feel so incredibly off course. I have been thinking about what is in my control and what is not. Like you, kindness, inclusion, integrity and honesty are very important to me. Glad you have this place to process through it all.
"I have been thinking about what is in my control and what is not."
These are healing words that offer a way through. We are the light. Thank you, dear Lisa.
And yes, we need to continue to be the light. This week, I pulled out your book Only Love Today. I was so thankful to be on the Lauch Team for that. My goal is to get back to that because that is very much in my control—the love, and the goodness and the light that I bring forth into the world. Rachel, the light you bring forth is so incredibly needed. It was 11 years ago that I read your first book Hands Free Mama and that book, along with your other books and Soul Shift courses, have been so incredibly impactful. ❤️🙏 The impact we can make matters.
You are welcome. ❤️🙏
Dearest Rachel,
I feel that heaviness with you. My spiritual director tells me often that whatever breaks our hearts is what breaks the heart of God. I believe that. I believe that somehow, not merely as a form of survival but as an act of generosity, we are each invited to rise up and be light-bearers and light-bringers in this dismal society.
It's strange, but I've created a sort of insular hermitage in my office, to which I retreat on a daily basis. I spend anywhere from an hour to five hours in this small segment of a fairly large house, because it has become my sanctuary. It is where I intentionally walk away from the fray, from all the hubbub and derision going on in conversations--on the news, among neighbors, within families. I cannot bear any more of this, so I have made a conscious decision to stay off of social media, not scan the news, turn off the headlines on my computer or TV.
Instead, I spend time thinking, reflecting, meditating. Prayer has changed for me these last several years into something that is a way of being rather than a formal incantation to a deity. I still feel the presence of the divine, but I admit I am small and scared most days. I do not know what we are doing as a people, and I do not know whether I will make any sort of impressionable mark upon the world as it is.
What I do know is that I must be something more than hopeless, though I permit myself to feel that from time to time--when I need to, for a stint and within a limit so that I do not fall prey to irreparable despair.
The pain cave reminds me of what we might call fortitude, which is more of an interior disposition that involves a lot of grit, patience, perseverance, and passion. You have to utilize this part of yourself that says you are resolved to continue moving forward when it makes sense to do that, when you know it is better to have faith than give in to your fear. I am not speaking of a dogged productivity that overshadows a person's natural wisdom to listen to the voice that says it's time to back off, slow down, or rest. I am speaking of that inner knowing that it's a moment in which we must confront our shadows.
To me, courage doesn't exist until I face what I fear most.
I wanted to conclude with an image that came to me last night as I fell asleep. It was of a mature deciduous tree in full bloom, with lush, green foliage that filled its crown. A cloud of dark smoke rose from the earth and began to envelop the tree, obstructing it from view. I remember saying in my mind, "No, no this can't happen!" And instantly the cloud vanished.
The tree reappeared, and when the black cloud ascended higher and higher, encircling the tree, this time the tree became illuminated in a bright incandescence that overshadowed the cloud's power.
I took this metaphor to mean that, despite the dark shadows that seek to destroy the human spirit, we will not be vanquished by it. Love is the light whose power far surpasses the darkness, and that is what I know lives in you and lives in me and lives in each of us, if only we believe that about ourselves and allow ourselves to love and be loved.
Maybe part of the purpose of being a writer, or a creative person at this point in history, Rachel, is for you and I to speak into these dark places with the soft glow of tenderness and compassion that I know touches people in their pain, soothes them, comforts and consoles.
As always, I read your brilliance several times, finding illuminating nuggets to collect and pocket. I will roll them around in my fingers over the next days, weeks, months... and they will comfort me.
When I got to the last paragraph, I must admit that I cried. To be called to "speak into dark places with the soft glow of tenderness and compassion that I know touches people in their pain..." is what I truly believe my purpose is... and to know you see me in this way, as a fellow soothing voice that is often in unison with yours... well, that is truly all I needed to know today.
🫂
“Natalie was the light bringer – not because she didn’t experience the pain too – but because she had gotten to the other side before and wanted to make sure other people knew they could too.”
This is the perfect word-picture for how I want to live my life and shine my light. To walk through it, experience freedom, and then help others in their own journey toward it, simply by being light of that freedom. What a beautiful way to give others permission!! 💞
I hope this birthday is filled with people and things you love!! So grateful for you and this space. 🥳
Thank you for highlighting that paragraph, RaeAnne, and for declaring your vital purpose in the world. Knowing you are out there doing that comforts me and inspires me.
Happy birthday, dear Rachel! Thanks for the idea of decorating your porch, I will do that too. I feel the same way you do. As you say, we need to love and support those around us. And never let your light go out!!
Thank you for letting me know my porch love inspired you! This made me smile so big!!
I feel the same heaviness that you describe. It's no exaggeration to say I've been walking through the stages of grief since the election--and they are ramping up again. I swing wildly from disbelief to anger to bitter tears, and constantly wonder how we can continue to bear this. Every day brings fresh horrors (also not an exaggeration) and more people I don't know how to continue a relationship with.
Natalie learned to be a light-bringer from you! This is truth.
I too, hope I am a light-bringer. We will need all the light and love we can get in the next few years. Thank you for sharing yours with us.
Thank you for bringing your light to this space today, dear Erin. I feel your weariness, but know I also feel your warmth. I am near. My hand in yours.
I can’t tell you how much this piece has meant to me. You put into words what I have been feeling. The election and having my kidney removed (all within a week) had almost killed my spirit. I’ve never had the privilege of competing in races. Born with a congenital hip dislocation, I’ve weathered several hip surgeries and now at 71, it seems my body is starting to give up. Just like it seems America is dying. Pain cave!! I love this term and plan on using it. I became a social worker and poured all my energy into my clients and attempted to be both their cheerleader and motivator. When I retired I continued to encourage others to be their best selves. But then our political system began to crack and break in so many ways that at times I just wanted to leave this ole world. Your piece has strengthened my resolve to keep living and loving. We can bring about peace and excitement again! So let’s all get out of our pain caves and push ourselves to be the light during these dark times!
When I got to the part about the breaking causing you to want to "leave this ole world," I started to cry. I am a deep feeler too and at times it feels like too much pain to bear. I kept reading your words and then you said, "Your piece has strengthened my resolve to keep living and loving." I cried again... but this time, from a place of strength and hope. Just like I wrote in my essay, I believe we can stoke each other's inner lights... and perhaps what we create TOGETHER will be so illuminating we will be so glad we stayed. Thank you, Shirley, for your words that have given me life and purpose today.
Happy birthday beautiful soul! So glad I found your site!!
Thank you so much, Rachel. This speaks to my heart and exactly how I am feeling right now. It’s so nice to know I am not alone. I should be able to make the 2/2 treehouse gathering! Very much appreciate you and am looking forward to it.
I can't wait to see you on 2/2, dear Nicole. My hand in yours.
Oh my birthday is next week as well! You put into words similar feelings I share during this time.
Happy early birthday, dear one! I hope you are planning to celebrate in the most nourishing way!
Happy birthday! I am feeling a need to do something to resist and help but as is typical of me, have felt overwhelmed by choices, which always leads to being stuck. Your porch immediately inspired me as one thing I can do and enjoy doing. Also, I love your idea of “stoking the light”. What a great visual!
I love to hear this, Jacqueline! I'd sure love to hear how your porch turns out!! Thank you for commenting. It feels so good to have your hand in mine.
As always, beautiful, and encouraging.
So much gratitude for you, my friend.
I love this community.
(And my birthday is coming too...the big one...)
ooohhh!!! Happy early birthday, dear Rachel!!! To be alive at the same time as you is something I consider to be an incredible gift. I love how our deep feeling, writing loving hearts are so aligned.
Me too, me too.
I’m very very tempted about coming to your retreat.
And Happy Birthday to you too.
Happy Birthday Rachel …. Fellow Capricorn!!
Just want to let you know how much I value your writings/teachings. Looking forward to being “present” in the next Treehouse Gathering. ❤️
Thank you for words that feel like the kind of birthday gift that means the most. I treasure affirmations more than anything else. Thank you for this... and I can't wait to be with you on 2/2.
Thank you Rachel, as always. I love your words I just read. Thank you for giving so many of us hope. Love always wins. ❤️
Love you, dear Shari. Thank you for your faithful presence all these years. You mean so much to me.
“Love is who I am and love is what I stand for, and I will not stop.”
Standing beside you Soul Sister, barely breathing this week as I feel so much upending, internally as well as externally.
Sigh…
I have a pretty hula hoop I am standing in each morning as a new ritual. This is my circle of effect. My inquiry each morning is now “ how do I love my people in my hoop hugely❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️?” How do I let them know I care, o am here, lighting a candle for them , praying for them. Dropping off a note, a hug so no one in my hoola hoop is walking this windy path alone.
I believe that what I am doing in my hoop of Big Love i am creating a resistance of sorts. I am loving, living my life with joy, believe together we will walk each other through the chaos and come out on the other side, somehow. I am a hope holder in my hoola hoop helping fight against fear and finding there a many to shore, up, minister to in my hoola hoop. This is where my time and attention are being given.
I love you putting up your decorations. The heart is everything love ❤️ I remember during pandemic when people put hearts in their windows in my neighborhood, when I went for my daily walk then those hearts in the windows were my way to hope. There is one still taped inside a garage I pass most days and it emboldens me that love is our way through however that may look for each of us.
This space is balm and medicine Rachel, thanks for gathering us and helping us re-remember that we start from the heart.
Love you
The hula hoop metaphor is so powerful!! I’m going to borrow that. It feels doable when the pain is overwhelming. I love how you describe it as a resistance!
I forgot about the hearts in the windows during the pandemic. I might do that too. We can’t have too much love and symbols of them.
Grateful for you and your love. It reaches me constantly.
I resonate with what you wrote to my very core! I thought I had mentally and emotionally prepared for this week, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. It feels like the school bully (instead of facing consequences) has been elected homecoming king, student body president and student of the month all at once. I feel deeply sad, disgusted and angry. Yet I know that what this country needs more than ever is love...so I am going to keep showing up in love, while also showing up in my integrity.
With you, Nikki. Showing up with our Love + Integrity - this sparks my fire.
Yes! We ARE the light! And we are not just shining our light for others, we are shining it for ourselves too!🩷✨I will keep holding Light and Love in this current darkness for all who want to see! Thank you for holding yours! Together, we will get through it!
Also, Happy Birthday!! Love you!💜🥳🎉
Thank you, Riley! I love you too!
Thank you Rachel. This is lovely
I appreciate you, dear Anita.