This isn't the time to underestimate the impact of your kindness

let's think of our faith in humanity as a continuum, rather than an all or nothing

Jul 25, 2024

a heart painted on the side of a building — Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

I never imagined I’d drive two hours to attend a State Championship track meet given the fact my high schooler doesn’t do track.

But my daughter’s best friend does, and Zoe had qualified in two events: the long jump and the high jump.

The meet was scheduled at noon on a school day, so I wasn’t sure if she would have anyone there supporting her. I decided to be that person and my husband, Scott, joined me.

We sat in the nearly empty stands on that beautiful spring day noticing Zoe would periodically look up and wave at us enthusiastically. She seemed really happy we were there.

After several additional smiles in our direction, I turned to Scott and said, “I love this.”

I didn’t know what “this” was exactly, but I said it because it is important to speak of the things that make us feel alive… that bring us peace… that fill our eyes with tears. Those moments tell us something deeply important about ourselves and the kind of offering we are born to make in the world.

Lately, I’ve found myself thinking about that moment at the track meet. It goes without saying we are navigating one of the most challenging political landscapes of our time. With extreme levels of toxic, dehumanizing rhetoric and polarization, mustering the energy to be present, connected, and compassionate is really hard right now – but I believe the outcomes are worth the effort they take.

What I remember about that day was how little effort was actually required to make a positive impact.

Zoe’s coach – who happens to be my neighbor – was quite surprised to see me.

“Zoe said she had someone here for her, but I didn’t know it was you!” the coach said, thanking me for coming.

I was her Someone; my presence mattered. And to think I waffled back and forth in the days leading up to the event wondering if my time would be better spent isolated, working toward a project deadline.

If I had remained at home, nose deep in work, I would have missed the opportunity to create human connection with the potential for far-reaching impact.

Licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Jessica Del Pozo, offers the notion that humans have a “faith in humanity (FIH) meter”. Rather than thinking of our faith in humanity as all or none, Dr. Del Pozo suggests we think of it on a continuum.

She explains:

“After a particularly discouraging day of work, news, or interpersonal distress, my husband and I will check in with each other, “How is your FIH meter today?” or, “What is your FIH score today?” If we are asking, it usually means we're scoring lower than usual after another heartbreaking act of violence or despair in the news. It might be after witnessing a random act of rudeness on the road or finding a lit cigarette in the dirt during fire season.
Other times, we report soaring FIH scores after a random act of kindness or just a simple, honest gesture that fully restores our faith in humanity for the moment. A small, loving act can reset a tenderness for others and help us reconnect. It might be my neighbor giving me fresh basil, someone returning my credit card I left behind at the table, or the encouraging words of a stranger.” (source)

During the track meet, when I said, “I love this,” my faith in humanity meter was higher than it had been in months. Little did I know my meter would soar when I witnessed Zoe run with all her might and catapult herself over the high bar without touching it!

Each time Zoe cleared the bar, it was raised higher. Zoe would glance up, looking a bit nervous, and I’d give her a thumbs up.

‘You got this!’ I mouthed, seeing with my own two eyes that my presence was making a positive difference – and not just for Zoe, but also for me too. That night, and for days after the event, I told anyone who would listen to this story of triumph I witnessed. I was in a better mood. I was feeling more optimistic. I was kinder to myself and to those around me. The research of Dr. Del Pozo helped me understand why.

“Genuine acts of kindness toward others inherently reconnect us with our own humanity, thus increasing our own faith in humanity as well as having a positive impact on others.”

Much of the rhetoric being amplified right now are calls to exclude and dehumanize. Such messages cause people to draw inward. To be fearful. To give up. But knowing what I know now about the impact of small acts of kindness and interconnectedness, I will not give away my power.

I will apply the same question to the current obstacles we face as a nation as I did for Zoe’s meet:

If I don’t show up, who will?

My friends, we simply cannot underestimate the positive impact of a single act of kindness. Just imagine how we, the members of this beautiful treehouse community, could bolster the collective Faith in Humanity Meter if we commit to one loving act each day between now and Election Day.

The energy boost we create through our interconnectedness might just be enough to rise above the vitriol and clear the bar that separates us.

I am Someone.

You are Someone.

And together, we can create real, positive change and better tomorrows.

This isn't the time to underestimate the impact of your kindness

let's think of our faith in humanity as a continuum, rather than an all or nothing

What I remember about that day was how little effort was actually required to make a positive impact.

“Genuine acts of kindness toward others inherently reconnect us with our own humanity, thus increasing our own faith in humanity as well as having a positive impact on others.”

If I don’t show up, who will?

❓❓ TELL US FRIENDS: What have you witnessed lately that boosted your faith in humanity meter?

Here are a few things on my list:

· Seeing two children visibly excitedly as they entered the public library with their caregiver

· Hearing my daughter Natalie talk about the way she bonded with her swim lesson student over Roblox

· Talking to artists at the local farmer’s market as they showed me their wares

· Watching a mother and son hug for several minutes after they finished packing his car

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