The Unexpected Fruit of Saying Too Much
nudges, ripples, shame spirals, and breaking your own rules
During our recent treehouse gathering on Zoom, I spoke about nudges and ripples.
“Nudges” are those persistent internal feelings one gets indicating a step needs to be taken to be nourished or fulfilled.
”Ripples” are the positive impacts created by taking these internally guided steps (that are usually out of one’s comfort zone).
I read from the book Notes on Self-Love by Susanna Newsomen. I’d picked the book up on a whim several years ago while browsing a bookstore in Rosemary Beach. The thin paperback sat on my bookshelf until last Sunday afternoon when I was looking for a relevant quote to share in the live gathering.
It was no coincidence that when I opened the book to a random page, I read this:
“Sometimes, looking inwards is all it takes to connect to your self-love. Because when you look inwards, you connect to your full soul and being. You connect to your inner knowing, your soul wisdom, your intuition…
The more you ask for its guidance, the easier it is to hear it. If you haven't spoken to it for a while or listened to what it has had to say, start small. Be patient and persistent. Give it some time to come back to the surface so you can hear it.
Think of when you feel, or have felt, most connected to your intuition. Are there some spaces, some activities or some things that help you to connect to it? Is it doing something that connects you to your body, like yoga or some sort of exercise? Or something that calms your mind, like journaling or meditation? It could even be as simple as taking a walk in nature or taking the time to reflect or simply be.
For some, animals help to bring that connection to your intuition alive. Perhaps it's because they can't speak our language, but they can read our behaviors and moods. They are incredibly sensitive to the energy we possess and as a result, sometimes reflect it back to us, especially when we need to become more aware of the energy we might be stuck in.”
Susanna’s words immediately brought to mind the nudge I’d followed in January when I learned many shelter dogs rarely get walked. Being a self-proclaimed Cat person the nudge to volunteer with dogs caught me off guard, but I’m so grateful I didn’t ignore or dismiss that feeling. So far, the experience has been one of the best things I have done for myself in years. (More on that in a future post.)
Last weekend, Natalie was home from college, and I invited her to come with me to the shelter. On the other side of the leash Natalie was handed was the rescue’s most energetic pup, Rocksy. As a young adult who has learned healthy coping strategies to manage her attention deficits, I marveled at the way she responded to the dog’s high activity level and accommodated her darting interests.
When I noticed a quiet volunteer with no dog to walk, I offered Ritz, the adorable Chihuahua I was walking. The volunteer excitedly took over and was the perfect gentle companion for a timid dog who had recently been surrendered by his owner.
Having no dog responsibilities gave me an opportunity to step back and observe. I was captivated by the sight of my young adult child, who pushes herself very hard, having so much fun. Rocksy sensed she finally had a human who could keep up with her and was practically flying through the air with happiness. As Natalie kept up, her long hair flowed up and down like ocean waves in the sun.
I memorized that moment. I sealed it in my mind not knowing how it would help me the following morning.
On Monday morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about a couple of very personal things I shared during the Zoom gathering. Feelings safe to speak openly with my trustworthy community, I shared things I hadn’t planned on revealing.
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